Today is the 11th anniversary of the day that destiny got me close with the man, who became my husband two years later. It was a fire in the house I stayed, and he being my co-worker at the time and staying in the locality called in to help me out. It was coincidentally my birthday too. Two years later we got married and the helping out still continues with occasional sparks and small firings between us.
In one of these days we went back to an old conversation...the day he proposed to me, and the way it turned out. And last Friday he was asking about how it was since I started blogging..I found it very typical, and a jotting down helped in gaining a renewed perspective as I move on with my life…perhaps you find it interesting…
The conversation combines the two – the first one occurred about 11 years ago –
He: Devika, why didn’t you get married?
Me: Didn’t feel like – why?
He: You said you are thirty…and that’s too late for a woman
Me: I don’t plan to get married
He: Don’t plan? Why??
Me: I don’t feel like
He: Well, not all people marry because they FEEL like…It’s a system we follow
Me: I am not part of ANY system
He: Rebel? But, you don’t seem the usual feminist, there’s some other reason – in an affair?
Me: I may be- what’s your problem?
He: If there’s a chance I would like to
Me: It would be difficult
He: For you? Okay, then its okay…forget what I said
Me: No, I meant it will be difficult for you
He: Why?
Me: I love some one…and will continue to
He: Okay…that’s fine
Me: Fine? He mails me still…and I reply too
He: He wants to marry you?
Me: No, he’s asked me to get married….he has some issues
He: Then what do you write
Me: Just like that….and if I stop, I feel like killing myself
He: Okay…you see a friend in him?
Me: I don’t know….I just know I need to write to him when I feel like…
He: That’s fine with me…Life is about compartmentalising relationships
Me: What do you mean by that??
He: Well you keep relationships compartmentalised…
Me: Meaning – I can think of him and be serving you food?
He: (laughing) Yes, as far as you cook my food neatly….but, not exactly – there will be instances where you should not be thinking of him...when I am at it.
Me: (smiling) I know, I know… But they say, that’s when men and women have others in mind…
He: How do you know? Who told you??
Me: I read a psychology magazine long back….and it had a survey --
He laughs loud and I joined….after a while:
He: So what do you say? About us?
Me: I need to think…
He: Think and tell me – I have no much time left--
But then, my thinking, my husband’s intermittent intervention and mail contact with the other went on for about two years until finally we came to a settlement, and got married…And from time to time we would discuss how it was all going…
And, Friday night he came to my room while I was reading, and sitting beside me, started:
He: Not over?
Me: No, This is too interesting to read fast…I’m relishing every line over and over again…and taking time
He: So, how’s your blogging going?
Me: Dull…no much fun…I am working it over and over again…but some are just intent on spoiling the fun…
He: And, how’s you with your compartments? the old one??
Me: All going fine…but I see myself in the passage most of the time these days….and stuck too much with the engine driver…
He: Who’s that?
Me: Not YOU anyway!....but I have told you
He: Oh yeah…how’s he?
Me: Nice…but, he isn’t much interested, I guess…He doesn’t show, and is too morose…seems too focussed on signals!
He: Still you are stuck??
Me: Yeah, seems like for life...
He: How could you be sure?
Me: Who said I am sure….I said SEEMS like!
He: Hmmm…And, even if he isn’t interested at all?
Me: How does that matter…It’s my decision in my life, and his for his life
He: You are CRAZY!!
Me: NOT A NEWS!!
He: And those in the compartments??
Me: Fine, most of them are sleeping most of the time…perhaps it’s a long journey…and I am adding compartments…some are just too fun!
He: Well, do what ever you like – BUT if I don’t get what I need as and when I need it…you, your engine driver and compartments, all along with the computer will fly out of the window into the park!!
Me: Okay… I will get the cable reconnected and work from there!
He: Gone case you are! It’s ME who’s spoiling you!!…well, I am off to bed…come whenever you feel like!!
(He walks out …I leave the book and follow him with a smile...taking his hand)
PS: I wanted to give an unedited version; but then writing it, I got reluctant and couldn’t put it all here….Now, I don’t know, if it’s that typical or interesting…anyway posting it…
In one of these days we went back to an old conversation...the day he proposed to me, and the way it turned out. And last Friday he was asking about how it was since I started blogging..I found it very typical, and a jotting down helped in gaining a renewed perspective as I move on with my life…perhaps you find it interesting…
The conversation combines the two – the first one occurred about 11 years ago –
He: Devika, why didn’t you get married?
Me: Didn’t feel like – why?
He: You said you are thirty…and that’s too late for a woman
Me: I don’t plan to get married
He: Don’t plan? Why??
Me: I don’t feel like
He: Well, not all people marry because they FEEL like…It’s a system we follow
Me: I am not part of ANY system
He: Rebel? But, you don’t seem the usual feminist, there’s some other reason – in an affair?
Me: I may be- what’s your problem?
He: If there’s a chance I would like to
Me: It would be difficult
He: For you? Okay, then its okay…forget what I said
Me: No, I meant it will be difficult for you
He: Why?
Me: I love some one…and will continue to
He: Okay…that’s fine
Me: Fine? He mails me still…and I reply too
He: He wants to marry you?
Me: No, he’s asked me to get married….he has some issues
He: Then what do you write
Me: Just like that….and if I stop, I feel like killing myself
He: Okay…you see a friend in him?
Me: I don’t know….I just know I need to write to him when I feel like…
He: That’s fine with me…Life is about compartmentalising relationships
Me: What do you mean by that??
He: Well you keep relationships compartmentalised…
Me: Meaning – I can think of him and be serving you food?
He: (laughing) Yes, as far as you cook my food neatly….but, not exactly – there will be instances where you should not be thinking of him...when I am at it.
Me: (smiling) I know, I know… But they say, that’s when men and women have others in mind…
He: How do you know? Who told you??
Me: I read a psychology magazine long back….and it had a survey --
He laughs loud and I joined….after a while:
He: So what do you say? About us?
Me: I need to think…
He: Think and tell me – I have no much time left--
But then, my thinking, my husband’s intermittent intervention and mail contact with the other went on for about two years until finally we came to a settlement, and got married…And from time to time we would discuss how it was all going…
And, Friday night he came to my room while I was reading, and sitting beside me, started:
He: Not over?
Me: No, This is too interesting to read fast…I’m relishing every line over and over again…and taking time
He: So, how’s your blogging going?
Me: Dull…no much fun…I am working it over and over again…but some are just intent on spoiling the fun…
He: And, how’s you with your compartments? the old one??
Me: All going fine…but I see myself in the passage most of the time these days….and stuck too much with the engine driver…
He: Who’s that?
Me: Not YOU anyway!....but I have told you
He: Oh yeah…how’s he?
Me: Nice…but, he isn’t much interested, I guess…He doesn’t show, and is too morose…seems too focussed on signals!
He: Still you are stuck??
Me: Yeah, seems like for life...
He: How could you be sure?
Me: Who said I am sure….I said SEEMS like!
He: Hmmm…And, even if he isn’t interested at all?
Me: How does that matter…It’s my decision in my life, and his for his life
He: You are CRAZY!!
Me: NOT A NEWS!!
He: And those in the compartments??
Me: Fine, most of them are sleeping most of the time…perhaps it’s a long journey…and I am adding compartments…some are just too fun!
He: Well, do what ever you like – BUT if I don’t get what I need as and when I need it…you, your engine driver and compartments, all along with the computer will fly out of the window into the park!!
Me: Okay… I will get the cable reconnected and work from there!
He: Gone case you are! It’s ME who’s spoiling you!!…well, I am off to bed…come whenever you feel like!!
(He walks out …I leave the book and follow him with a smile...taking his hand)
PS: I wanted to give an unedited version; but then writing it, I got reluctant and couldn’t put it all here….Now, I don’t know, if it’s that typical or interesting…anyway posting it…
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