Wednesday, December 31, 2008

CITIZEN’S PARK

CITIZEN’S PARK
Bereft of the sea
And it’s engaging shores
The city—wild and barbed
Cold and wily, this
December noon…
Amidst its smog and soot
The Citizen’s Park –
My grassy green hideout
Ever green they keep it
For us, the reckless public

The sky, a distant shield
The trees ruffled and tired
By the winding night storm
The sun unseen,
As if for years now…

I came to think of it
The thoughts we shared
The other day
At the library—
With what tenderness
Do Mother Nature
Carve a blade of grass…
But, with what pounding
Urgency a boot
Smashes it off
The man not knowing…

Was there a reason,
A desire,
For the storms to
Break open the
Closed windows,
Of the wayside house
Only to shatter the
Glass panes,
Over the grass-
Green and chaste…

Does a house with
Broken Windows
Suggest
Sheer vandalism,
Mischief, or
Mere playfulness?

Coming to think of it…
The thought seemed
To dissolve, yet not fully
Into the bluish red
Of my veins
Choking the frail joints…
Oh, how they pain
In a wintry day?
Where’s my sun…
The sky smiles at me
I smile back in vain
And in a certain pain…

I sit in a void trance,
The old man walks down
The pathway, somewhere
From a long lost memory
To shake hands, as usual
So rugged his hold
The man died a year ago
I had heard….
Yet, his laugh resounds
As if it was just yesterday
I smile in vain at me
Hiding a certain pain…

The young girl who sat in
The bench to the side
Holds her cell-phone close,
Kissing unsure words
Through her mauve lips
Into a remote one…
The red nails
that combs back
The sliding hair
Falling over her face
Said she was in love,
Not for the first time…
Turning her face she
Smiles at me,
Years roll between us
I smile back in vain

A child leaves his mother
Running down the way
To bump on the furry
Brown tail of a white dog
Sleeping at the crisscross
Looks at me, as the dog
Snarled, with horror
In his blue eyes
Then to run back…
The mother smiles at me
I smile back in vain

The old woman who sat
At the gate as I walked in
Who threw away the coin,
Tossed on to her lap
By a man in black suit
From his car
Continued to shout
‘Cowards, Bastards
They will never know!’

What was she
Whining about…
How do I ever
Come to know?
Do I sit near her
And ask
Or do I call
Her home?
Would she come
Or would she doubt me,
My love—
The irrationality
Of which puzzles
Me, myself
The most…

As I try in vain to smile
Thoughts from no where
Cross my mind --

How does Krishna
Smile so heartily always?
Whom did he love the most,
Among his 16008 wives?
What made Radha
So special
Among all the gopis?
Did he ever knew
Of Meera’s devotion?

Did Jesus ever
Love the world
That decided
To crucify Him?
What regard did
Mary hold for him
Had He ever
Cared for her,
Is it not
His Father in
Heaven that
He loved most?

Was Sai Baba of Shirdi
Miserably sad all his life
As his face shows…
Could I ever see a
Smiling face of his…
Why did he terrify
His disciples when they
Tried to amuse him

Coming to think of it…
I walk past my home
Lost myself in the clutter
Of my own thoughts
Only to return
To my hideout
Via the other gate
My smile
Lost its way
Somewhere
In game and pain

Then, there...
Out of nowhere,
A jaded sun
Smiles at me
I smile back
In vain-

Or


Was it ...
in pain?


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Photo Copyright: Ketan, Pune



Friday, December 19, 2008

A DAY MAY COME

A DAY MAY COME

A day may come, when
The westward sun shall
Pour all its light and shine
On my vacant emerald fields
So my eyes may behold its
Promise and warmth,
Into boundless times

Then I would ignore
The rebuking graffiti
On the bare bricks of
Those decrepit walls
That they build to
Divide us, in their
Vague misgivings

And I shall see you
Not through their queer
Eyes, but through mine
And I may hear you, not
Through their split
Voices, but in the
Depths of your
Distinct silence

Yet, I realise
A day may come,
When we could come
To pass as strangers,
In a heaving street in
Indistinct strides
When our eyes
May fail to recognise
A familiar glance

But I shall still
Hold you in me –
The eyes that
Reflect the cross I bear--
Until a time infinitesimal
May hold me in its
Falling curve…
To outlive all on earth

In some insipid heaven

When…
The abandoned
White cross on
The hillside would
Sing its own glory
To the moving clouds


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Photo: As per original copyright at:http://www.geocities.com/pedonghoo/pedong_photo1.html

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

TIME STILL, DISCONNECTED

Walking through
The scattered crowd
Alongside him,
Trying hard
To hide her fears
Of being followed,
Watched upon
She tries to deduce
The pitch of his
Soft silence, the depth
Of his winding thoughts

Primordial was his need
She, deceitfully nascent
Acting a shallow love
They walked the streets
Down to the seashore
Under the leaden skies

Feeling the warmth
Of an ancient sun,
They stood there
Facing the seas,
Time stood still
Between them-
An archaic past

The flowing tide
As youthful as ever
Pulls them to a period
Disconnected from
The past and present
A fleeting moment
In euphoric transit

The sandy shores
Slide beneath the
Nervous hold of
Their unsure feet,
They slip, drench
In the salty waters

--A moment slides
Split between a
Grimy Past and a
Flowing present--

Trying to regain herself
She pulls him close first
Then in a fancy flurry,
Pushes him into the
Roaring seas, playfully…

Last one to leave
The self vacating shore
A yellow sun, gazing
Sinks slowly, subtly
Into his usual depths…
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A Request to Commentators: The Certain Kind of Woman is quite 'uncertain' of this piece. That would be the kindest response I could have to your comments and queries, if any...
Though not to all, atleast to a few of my old readers and all new readers, I beg a certain degree of understanding, if not kindness...I too am a human being!!
Yeah, NO DOUBTS there. I am quite hurt with my Blog-world experience...
No, No questions...please!
Photo: As per original copyright at:

Saturday, December 13, 2008

I SMILE UPON HIM...

I SMILE UPON HIM...

My husband started a very formal communication with me the other day. Later in the night, very unusual of his nature, he accepted that I had a point there…
& I found the conversation interesting for a different reason…
He also wanted me to publish it. The talk was in my mother tongue – Malayalam. But here’s a crude translation of it…of course there are 'certain' changes to it, for reasons I wish to keep to myself ;)

He: Devika, let me ask you -
Me: something Serious? Sure..sure
He: You say You are positive, right?
Me: I say and I am.. You doubt??
He: See, let Me finish My question first. Why do you Hurry with things?
Me: I have No time for this beating around..Ask straight…
He: Okay, then lets Leave it..
Me: oh My Dear…ask what you wanted to, I am listening..
He: Devika, first of all Be Patient…You talk about Faith and Patience…You are the Most impatient one on earth..
Me: :-)
He: You say you are positive; but to me You are the Most Negative
Me: Why?
He: You say vivacity of Life is of Utmost Importance….No?
Me: Yes…and I said I am listening…continue with it, Would you?
He: But you always talk of Death, dying the next moment
Me: So what?
He: How’s that Positive about Life?
Me: Don’t know?? – think of Death the Next Moment…what would You do?
He: Nothing. Why do something if you are to die the next..
Me: You don’t Love your Life..
He: What would You do?
Me: I will have a hundred things to do…But, at the least I’ll sit back and Take A Long Breath
He: What difference does IT make…this is why I say you are Silly and Eccentric..
Me: I hope you don’t Claim yourself to be the Last One to be saying that…
He: I don’t….But I am afraid I Could be …
Me: You believe in God??
He: err its 6.30 ..oh'ho….He must be waiting for me..
Me: Who – God!?
He: No, I need to go..Someone is waiting for me..at the junction
Me: Oh yeah…You will Always have this someone in waiting…

He rushes out…
I’m left to watch him walk the street from my balcony, with my wide smile...
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Photo: Obviously, it's not me. Just a figurative representation.
Copyright: Robert Farber at http://pro.corbis.com/

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

O' MY LOVE

O’ My Love

O’ my love, I shall never again
Call on you – heavens are no
Longer ours for a calling, let’s
Forget the time we lost affray

Or may we not forget – memories
Are worth a spell in life, they say
Don’t we have our share as well
Of all those loves lost in the past

Now, only in death shall I see you
My love, after my eyes close its
Last lash to this world that slay
Me of my dreams -- vanquished

And if you so wish, only after death
Shall you see me- after my lips slide
Vulnerably to a drooping jaw, letting
Off the stale air that life filled in me

Only after death shall you touch me
My love, after my skin sweats its
Vacant warmth, after my feet would

Freeze to a kindly sub-zero cold

Then, my spirit shall await yours
And we may go together, if you so wish
To a world where no eyes and ears

Shall mind us, with alms and qualms!


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Photo: As per original copyright at:

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Inbox (5)


INBOX(5)


Was checking mails the other day…
Among many…found five relevant or interesting…

Three were seemingly important:

His mail from a motel in Dehradun city
‘Why don’t you keep the cell near you,
Was calling since last night- reaching tonight
I need a sumptuous supper and ….’
(these men!!)

Mail from office: HR/accounts department
‘Seasons greetings to you, Devika
We are concerned that the quality of your work has
not been satisfactory. Bonus payments will be sent in January first
week.
(oh my, my job!!)

‘We await your nomination –
Degrees available in the field of your choice
No Pre-School qualification required!’
(what a degree that is!!)

And 2 were e- cards:

Lovingyou,com: ____ send you an e-card
On trying to open, it said:
Gateway Error 505: Request Timed Out
Contact your network administrator.
(Administrating love!?!)

e-greetings from a friend met online-
Ships rocking the blue seas, a lighthouse gleams afar
The accompanying rap vibrate the air in my room

e-cards—to me is not worth a pawn ticket!

You are free to agree or disagree
Would wish to know your views...

Photo: As per original copyright at:http://www.briansolis.com/2007_12_01_archive.html

Thursday, December 4, 2008

PASSING TIMES

Passing Times

Ripped apart – a bundle
Of old books in a stack-
My journal long lost
Found in a ramshackle

Two lines in page 108: my
First love expressed in words.
A memory makes a revisit
Is it a memory or just a thought?

“Just for the twinkle in your eyes
And a twist of your lips” – Was it
Me who wrote that, or was it you?
Were we ever bothered of that?

Years later, I find them again…
And in as much vain I see
My lips twist in sheer grief
My eyes reject a shine…

I hold on to my world
Within and without,
Seizing my share...
Oh Lord, save me!


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Photo: As per original copyright at: http://www.2heartsnetwork.org/thoughts.htm

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

O’ My….Rejoice the Rain!!

O’ My….Rejoice the Rain!!


By the lake, a day passes past
The shores empty, we sit
With eyes set on a distant
Laid-off horizon, strained

High seas breach a shore afar
A storm lulls in utter grief
Tangled in mounting clouds
That bears a million raindrops

Parched earth seeks a downpour
A frozen sun draped, downcast
Sedated skies a silent witness
A cold wind sweeps past…

Hush! A muted accomplice-
My eyes close in peaceful respite
To the first drop of a wintry rain
Our feet rise together to splash…

O’ My….Rejoice the Rain!!


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