Wednesday, December 17, 2008

TIME STILL, DISCONNECTED

Walking through
The scattered crowd
Alongside him,
Trying hard
To hide her fears
Of being followed,
Watched upon
She tries to deduce
The pitch of his
Soft silence, the depth
Of his winding thoughts

Primordial was his need
She, deceitfully nascent
Acting a shallow love
They walked the streets
Down to the seashore
Under the leaden skies

Feeling the warmth
Of an ancient sun,
They stood there
Facing the seas,
Time stood still
Between them-
An archaic past

The flowing tide
As youthful as ever
Pulls them to a period
Disconnected from
The past and present
A fleeting moment
In euphoric transit

The sandy shores
Slide beneath the
Nervous hold of
Their unsure feet,
They slip, drench
In the salty waters

--A moment slides
Split between a
Grimy Past and a
Flowing present--

Trying to regain herself
She pulls him close first
Then in a fancy flurry,
Pushes him into the
Roaring seas, playfully…

Last one to leave
The self vacating shore
A yellow sun, gazing
Sinks slowly, subtly
Into his usual depths…
**************
A Request to Commentators: The Certain Kind of Woman is quite 'uncertain' of this piece. That would be the kindest response I could have to your comments and queries, if any...
Though not to all, atleast to a few of my old readers and all new readers, I beg a certain degree of understanding, if not kindness...I too am a human being!!
Yeah, NO DOUBTS there. I am quite hurt with my Blog-world experience...
No, No questions...please!
Photo: As per original copyright at:

50 comments:

Lorraine said...

Such passion in this literary piece, why would you hesitate even for a second, I love it. If I had written if I wouldn't hesitate a second in posting it for the world to see...you seem weary, and I don't know why

Devika said...

Hi Lorraine, dear...

even I don't know, Lorraine..
too bogged down...

when life seems weighed down, I need to 'Act'...that's what I feel..has been doing this for quite a while...

now only words hold the passion. I feel terribly lost...dead!

anyway, nice to know that you liked it..

love,
dev

Hemanth Potluri said...

its a beautiful riting devika :)...the depth in the words is felt on the post :)..

**
--A moment slides
Split between a
Grimy Past and a
Flowing present-

this phase struck me badly ....i wont ask any questions tho...i just loved the post :)...its beautiful :)..

urs..hemu..

Devika said...

Hi Hemu,

so many thanks Hemu...it may be for this kindness that we never introduced each other, even as we met at many places...

all those I have introduced myself have been very 'brutally' kind with me...

anyway, i love the kindness you show...and when its from a man of my country, I feel most obliged.
Since long, I met someone so kind among Indian men...women too.

doubtful eyes...no, what to say!

thank you, dear

yours,
devika

Priya said...

Nice piece of romance and longingness.

Lyrically speaking said...

Very beautiful and emotional...love this stanza right here:

A moment slides
Split between a
Grimy Past and a
Flowing present

Rakesh said...

you play magic with words ya too good

deepsat said...

its very intense and full of passion!! you are a natural at this!! good one!!

Devika said...

Hi Priya/Rakesh/Deepsat

Thankyou all..for your kind words.

wishes,
devika

Devika said...

Hi Cathy,
(i'm sorry i missed this before)

thank you for reading..
nice to know you liked it.

wishes,
devika

Jeeves said...

Very romantic. Like this post a lot

Devika said...

Hi Jeeves,

Thank you...
Romantic stuff --not very used to.
but, nice to know you liked it..
I like to read it more..:)

have something today?
just coming...

wishes,
devika

Twisted Elegance.... said...

pretty good :

keep posting

Devika said...

Hello TE!

Thank you for this coming.
and glad you found it "pretty good"

I wouldn't know how my poetry turns out to be "pretty" or "good"..

I post them as it comes..So guarantee of on quality! :(

wishes,
devika

Devika said...

Hello TE!

Thank you for this coming.
and glad you found it "pretty good"

I wouldn't know how my poetry turns out to be "pretty" or "good"..

I post them as it comes..So no guarantee of quality! :)

hope you come to read, again

wishes,
devika

ps: I am a very moody person. Things keep changing with me.

Hope you understand...i mean the changes i made :)

Leo said...

hey devika, beautiful selection of pic firstly!! :)

and fierce passion in the words...
maybe its my imagination, but a touch of hurtfulness also i felt...

liked the first and third verse best...sort of descriptive these two verses...

a very well penned piece...!

will heed ur request and not ask questions... but do forget whatever has hurt u... hurtful memories aren't meant to be treasured...

vinay.
ps: thanks for dropping by, new one is going to be posted in weekend!! :)

Devika said...

Hi Vinay,

So nice to have those pleasing words, dear

Glad to know you liked it..

No Vinay, i can't bear a hurt heart in me too long..it kind of stops its vital function...

so I pump it off the very moment..as a poetry, fiction..sometimes a comment ;)

take it from me -- strength or weakness, i can never hold an ill-will in me..and it has only given me positive returns...

thanks once again. i'll check again by Saturday/Sunday :)

wishes,
devika

Nivedita said...

i didnt exactly understand it..but i'll take it as a fictitious poem and shall not try to give words to the feelings behind it
when i write things i dont feel for they come out boring..and when i write what i feel they come out meaningless..glad its not that way for you :)

Devika said...

Hi Nivedita,

Thank you for reading.

what you said of your writing experience -- had been mine 20 years ago, Nivedita...

Now in my case, when those twenty years of life and its experience --coupled with my 28 years or so of reading experience -- flows into my writing, things fall in place without much of my intervention...

You said -- you didn't understand it --- It could only be right..You should have been living my life and be having my nature to understand it, and feel it fully....NEXT TO IMPOSSIBLE..

NOw, please for heaven sake - don't come up with these comparisons Nivedita --

YOU ARE YOUR MAKING, AS TO I AM MINE...if we find something in common, thats a coincedence...

I get very irritated with these childish talks...else all is fine Nivedita..please try to understand, dear...

wishes,
devika

The Seeker said...

Loved the flow of words, A story weaved into a poem I shud say,,

Acting a shallow love

An archaic past

Loved those phrases, they convey more deep down...
Indeed a magical muse..

Devika said...

Hi Seeker!

Thank you for reaching here...

shallow conveys deep!??
very usual reading :))

just kidding, friend...
glad you liked it..

wishes,
devika

Devika said...

Hi Seeker

i meant --

**very UNUSUAL reading :))
impatient, i am with keyboard! :)

devika

Maddy said...

oh! How romantic this piece!! Sounds like she wanted to have but pretended not to have that feeling, but at the end she could not control.

Wonderful readin Devika.

No questions asked for sure.

When there is a disclaimer, it makes a reader bit curious. You could have avoided. its my opinion. Sorry if I hurt you

Devika said...

Hi Maddy,

Nice to have that comment..about her and her feelings-- i have no comments..God knows what these 'uncertain' kind of women are made of! :)

and isn't it a bit fun to raise curiousness in readers?

but, it was not for that reason i put it there..

Hurt-- i was, frankly speaking..and when creepy comments continued to creep in..it became unbearable....

And, my heart is not THAT BIG to have it all...and then smile...
i need to be clear if I need to smile..so I give it back.

But, its almost reached a stage I can't take it any more....

May be, its because I care for the uncaring world that i continue to take comments seriously...God knows!!

But am I seriously serious about it...I wonder :)

wishes, Maddy
devika







wishes,
devika

venus66 said...

Beautiful picture. The poem is wonderful. Do not think too much. You are doing good.

Devika said...

Hi Venus!

That's an interesting comment...when someone else confirm that I'm doing good..seems like I automatically feel good.... really, Venus :)

Happy that you liked it...and thanks for coming...

How's Christmas preparations going?? should be good, no?

wishes,
devika

thinking too much -- some body else also said that to me..can't remember exactly...anyway, i will try not to :)

venus66 said...

Hi, Christmas preparation is going on but a bit slow this year. :) Take care.

Devika said...

Make it fast Venus,
any help from me? :)

never hesitate to ask, my dear

May the Jingle bells ring soon..

wishes,
devika

fish eye said...

wow!
there's a very nice flow to this poem of passion and supressed feelings (or that's how i read it - not necessarily what you had in mind)
love it!

Devika said...

Hi Polona,

whatever your reading is, its fine with me...
it makes me happy when you say, you love it :)

wishes,
devika

Art and Poetry said...

Nice one! it seen very true to real life, life is very much like this!

Masago said...

Enjoyed.

Devika said...

Hi Nick,

Thank you, Nick..
A much-valued compliment..it is to me :)

wishes,
devika

Devika said...

Hi Masago,

Thank you for the visit.
I am happy you enjoyed it.:)

wishes,
devika

Nivedita said...

erm im sorry..i wasnt exactly comparing..just sharing(?) its hard to see the difference..
as for childishness..lol im gonna stay one for the rest of my life by the looks of it which is quite a good thing i think..it shields all the bad( i dont like to classify it as good or bad but cant think of a term for it) in me .

Devika said...

Hi Nivedita..

Do what ever dear...
but be sensible when you talk -- alteast to me....

if not, then i will also be forced to be among them who classify you are senseless...you said some consider you so, no?

but in your poetry I found a sensible writer, anyway..

I have no much time to explore the reason..Be what you are, what you want..BE HAPPY, dear...

that's all that matters..

wishes,
devika

Rukhiya said...

I like the 'uncertain'ity about this one. Romantic, too, very!

Devika said...

Hi Rukhiya!

thanks - nice to know.
BUT, i am not very romantic, or 'uncertain' now :)

kidding - am i?
figure it, dear

my mood seems good :)
even i my self dont know when it is and when it is not!

anyway, thanks for reading

wishes,
devika

Lena said...

i dont know why you had doubts about this piece. The poem is very beautiful and emotional, it cant leave one indifferent :)

Devika said...

Hi Lena!

Thank you so much for coming and that kind comment
I am happy that you liked it :)

wishes,
devika

RAJI MUTHUKRISHNAN said...

Very good, Devika. There need be no room for self-doubts here.

Devika said...

Hi Raji,

Thank you so much for reading and the kind comment...thanks :)

wishes,
devika

Cynthia said...

I feel the woman is trying to reach inside the man's mind
and heart to know him and what
he is thinking, if he is on
the same wavelength as she is.

As always your gentle way of
writing of spiriting the truth
truly touches my poetic heart.

Love,
Cynthia

Devika said...

Hi Cynthia,

Its so nice to have that comment dear....

and this keen interest to know the other is what makes us human being first, and poets/writer subsequent...no?

thanks dear, once again

love,
devika

Borut said...

A deeply moving piece!:)

Devika said...

Hi Borut!

Thank you for coming and the comment...

Deeply moving it was Borut, to me too..

Moved me off my foot for a while :))

wishes,
devika

Known Stranger said...

i got carried away with poem. your poetic skill did all the trick. this time not reading any of the comments and replies of yours.

Devika said...

Hi KS,

Nicce to have that comment, thanks :)

devika

Rhiannon said...

"Maybe it's because I care for the uncaring world"...you said in one of your comments here Devika..I just wanted to say I feel that way a lot at times. What is is and so no one really knows how you feel but you..and that's as it should be..am I making any sense?

Blessings,

Rhi

Devika said...

Dear Rhi,

In all ways, you makes sense my dear

"Maybe it's because I care for the uncaring world"...

I do still, my dear...and WORLD IS STILL THE VERY SAME since I said that..

so no one really knows how you feel but you..

Very True, Rhi; Yesterday, one of my brothers in India invited me to his blog to show me 'pink' tit bits of paper in what he calls a garbage of leaves...

Made me Sad...
But what to do...

People can only think The way they are!!

anyway, thank you so much for your kindness to come and say these words to me..

Love,
God be with you, always
devika